Heartbeat Sonata
by God-Damned
Summary: Things are not that easy. Especially when those things are feelings. Inspired by the fic Moonlight Sonata. Cos I love that piece.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any of its characters.

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"I'm sorry, Eiri," said the green-eyed man before him. Yuki continued to stare, no, glare at him. Tohma returned it with an intense look of his own.

"I have to leave now," Yuki's recently ex-brother-in-law stood up from the table. " I have other things to attend to."

"Oh and Eiri," Tohma turned around to look at the blond novelist who had not moved for the last twenty minutes or so, one hand on the door with his posh leather coat slung over his other arm. Seeing as Eiri didn't turn around in his seat at the kitchen table to face him or even give a sign that he heard Tohma, not like Tohma expected him to, he continued, "Don't forget what I told you. I will not lose. Especially to you."

Yuki didn't move from his slumped position in the chair until quite some time later, when his lover walked into the apartment with a quiet 'Tadaima, Yuki', standing up and turning around to face the unusually quiet twenty-two year old.

"He isn't going to get anything from me."

"Yuki, Seguchi-san said the wierdest thing to me today," Shuichi told his lover as he stepped into the kitchen. Yuki just looked on as Shuichi lifted his big purple eyes to his indifferent yellow ones. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times noiselessly as if he didn't know what to say before just stating simply, "He said he loves me."

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A/N: I didn't think of how to continue after this. But if you guys still want more, I'll think harder. Review to tell me if you do like it!! (Boy, I'm sly)


	2. Predicament

I forgot to say something about my descriptions of Shuichi and Hiroshi. In my story Shu has black hair cos I believe that in the comic he's meant to have black hair. I only watched a coupla of anime episode. And as for Hiro....erm...well, i do llike him with red hair more. (It's more sexy) but i worte brunette in here and I CAN'T FIND THE WORD RO CHANGE IT!! so pls excuse the mistake.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation and its characters.

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Nakano Hiroshi set down his headphones, disappointed once again during the past three days. He looked up past the thick plastic window that looked into the other room where a black-haired boy stood, head hung low, from either his own disappointment or plain fatigue, Hiroshi didn't know. Beside him, Suguru let out a sigh. He, too, could tell that something was wrong. But he wasn't as patient as Hiro was with his long time friend and their band-mate. Hiro looked around the room. The recording crew was tired and impatient, having already done this for the umpteenth time with no progress. Sakano was already mumbling incoherently with his head on his arms upon the table, distressed beyond hope. K looked like he was about to pull the gun Hiro had saw him polishing in the break room just now. He realized that in order to save all of them, and Shuichi of course, Hiro had to do something about his friend. He held down a button and reach over to speak into a small mike in front of one of the crew. "Shuichi, can you step outside for a moment, please."

Inside the box, Shuichi looked up at him for a moment as if at a loss. Then he slowly nodded his head in confirmation and pulled the headphones which looked like the were too big for his head off and set them down on the music stand in front of him where his scores were. He joined Hiroshi in the hallway outside of the studio as his best friend closed the door behind them to give them some privacy. The corridor, however, wasn't a good place to talk. People walked around, passing by them, each caught up in their own rush. That was the way things were in a production company. Everybody was always busy. Everybody had something to do somewhere else.

Hiro grabbed the still-at-a-lost Shuichi by the arm and dragged him towards the break room closest to their recording studio. He was quite sure no one was there just now. They were all supposed to be working. It was only an hour after lunch, after all. Sure enough, when they reached the room with peach-coloured walls, they found themselves alone.

Turning to Shuichi, Hiroshi wasted no time in getting straight to the point. "Okay, spit it out." he commanded. It took a couple of moments for Shuichi to look up blankly at his best friend and then say a "Huh?"

_Okay. Breathe, Nakano. Breathe._

"I said, what's up with you?" he continued, pulling a chair out from one of the tables, opting to sit down before he got too agitated. "You've been this way for three days already. Haven't you and he made up?"

Another "Huh?"

Boy, was Shuichi testing his patience today.

"Yuki Eiri. Did he throw you out again?" Hiro let some concern seep into his voice. _If that bastard of a Yuki made Shu cry agai....._

"Yuki! Yuki?! Huh? Where?!" Shu burst out. Now Hiro was getting worried. It was not that Shuichi was suddenly so loud after his three-day slump of being almost deathly silent that startled him. It was the fact that Shu usually said that line with great lovey-dovy eyes and ultra high-pitched voice, even after the bastard dumped him, hoping that Yuki had come to see him and make-up. Yeah. That was the 'usual'. Now was not. Shu had gone ultra high-pitched, as expected. What Hiro, his long-time buddy didn't expect was that Shuichi was actually looking scared. Panicked. Eyes not lovey-dovey but wide and fearful. Hiro had to stand up and try and stop Shuichi from hyperventilating and make him sit down.

_What did the bastard do?_

Hiro was cut off from his thoughts a second time as Shuichi started to cry. Cry helplessly. Like all hope was gone in the world, bent down over his knees with his hands holding his head and fingers pulling at his black locks. He was crying hard. Boy, this was bad. Hiro was so shocked all he could do for a whole minute was stand there and stare, arms drooping at his sides helplessly as he watched his friend cry. Then he kneeled down in front of Shuichi and proceeded to comfort him with soothing words and light pats to on the head, pushing back those stray strands of hair from his friend's purple eyes, now filled with overflowing tears.

It was some time before Shuichi managed to calm his bone-racking sobs into quiet ones and throw himself into Hiro's open arms for the much needed comfort. Holding the small frame of his friend tightly, Hiro contemplating on how to go about the fragile situation when Shuichi eased that worry with a quiet, "What am I going to do, Hiro?" He then proceeded to tell him what had happened just a few days ago. It seems that Shuichi was quite confused and messed up. But what shocked Hiro more was that Seguchi had actually said that. Wow. I mean, sure he knew Shuichi was captivating, but not to that extend. Guess he just never saw him that way before, being his best friend and all. But now that he thought about it, Shuichi was waaayy popular with girls and guys looking for a lover. But...whoa...Seguchi. The second bastard Seguchi....

And First Bastard (Yuki) was jealous too. Just because Shuichi had said he wanted to come to work because they had to record their next two songs by mid-week next week and risk getting seen by Seguchi. But since Yuki hadn't thrown him out of the house yet, it was quite obvious that he knew that this time he may not be the first one Shu may be running back to. Well, at least this predicament had some good come out of it. But that didn't solve the rest of it.

"Shu," Hiro said, pushing the boy in front of him away a little to look him in his big helpless eyes. "You don't have to come to work if you don't want to. I'm sure the rest would understand. Don't push yourself, okay?"

He looked down at his lap and started fiddling with the hem of my shirt. He hadn't told everything and he was begging his trusted best friend to read his mind before he had to say it out. Hiro had learnt the body language of the hyperactive kid a long time ago. It was a wonder why he had to. He talked so much anyways. Usually, Hiro wouldn't even need to guess to know what was in Shuichi's mind. But that again was the 'usual'. Hiro wondered when his days would be normal again. He had not a clue to what was still bothering Shuichi. He had already given him permission not to come and his assurance that he would cover for him if K or Suguru made a fuss. So?

"Ah, Shindou-san. There you are." Shuichi shoulders tensed under Hiro hands and the brunette unconsciously did the same. Damn.

Shuichi turned his head very slowly towards the owner of the voice who was standing in the doorway, with his usual grace and poise which made the two younger boys on the floor feel like they were half-plucked chickens.

Smiling, Seguchi said, "Shindou-san, may I speak with you in my office for a while?" Shuichi shivered slightly. Fear?

Then Seguchi's gaze left Shindou to glance at the hand resting on his shoulder and the way-too-intimate may the dark-haired boy was casually sitting on the other's lap. Now it was Hiroshi's turned to quiver under the intense gaze directed at him and he cringed as he hurriedly pulled his hand back and pulled Shu up onto his feet again, standing up at the same time and effectively putting a small gap between him and the other boy. Hiroshi knew better than to get on the wrong side of the president. He greeted the older man with a curt nod and a formal "Seguchi-san" before turning back to Shuichi. Poor boy was ready to collapse from the looks of it.

Seguchi stepped forward and both boys cringed. That, however, didn't stop the blond musician from reaching out a hand to Shuichi, beckoning him to come and follow. Much to Hiro's surprise, Shuichi reached out his hand promptly and took the hand of the bleached-blond president and following obediently behind as he was lead out of the room and away to the highest story of the building.

Hiro stood there, shocked and surprised by his friend not the first time in the day until he realized what Shuichi was dying for him to understand. He slapped his head with his palm and let out a simple "Oh shit."

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So, figured out what Nakano figured out? hehehe.... I won't tell you if you dont review....


	3. Pretty things like a White Piano

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or its characters.

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Shuichi walked past Seguchi and into a big room with wood boarded walls and lushly carpeted floors. He recognized the office to be a sound-proofed room, for purposes a president of an international company could find and the mini-grand piano in the middle of the room, a little to the left of the door, gave.

Shuichi had to stare at the instrument. It was...pretty, to say the least; pearly-white all over that seemed to glow in the white lights that lit up the office just right. It was small enough to be not overwhelming but big enough to be grand. Guess 'mini-grand piano' did suit it very well. The young singer found himself unable to look away.

"I see you like my piano." a voice broke through his thoughts and Shuichi took notice again of the other man in the room with him. Said man was currently behind the marble-top bar at the wall across the door, bringing out two glasses and preparing a drink. Seguchi had taken off his long coat, now tossed casually on the arm of the couch near the door, revealing that he wore a simple black collared shirt with the first two buttons undone and a black leather pants – a rather casual outfit for one as extravagant as Seguchi. And then Shuichi noticed something he never noticed before, at least not with that much interest, that Seguchi Tohma looked good. No, no. Not just good. He looked... _good_.

Shoulders that could not be described as 'broad' but neither was the man slight. He did stand at a good 178cm tall, after all. Shuichi suddenly felt very small in the other man's presence. No, not physically. But he felt he couldn't compare. He wondered wh…

"Shindou-san," And said man was suddenly before him and Shuichi let out a small scream, caught completely off guard. Seguchi, however, look non-pulsed as he held out a hand towards Shuichi, who flinched. It was only then that the young man realized that the soft delicate hand was holding onto a glass of a fizzy liquid that had different layers of different shades of pink.

"It seems that you are easily distracted, Shindou-san. I asked you what you would like to drink several times and received no answer, so I went ahead and made a decision for you, if you don't mind." He smiled and Shuichi's finger's brushed his as he accepted the drink due to pure reflex, making the boy shiver. "Huh?" was all Shuichi managed to say.

Seguchi let out a small chuckle as he walked towards his desk and sat down in the high chair behind it. The late afternoon sun making a halo around the head of the company president and Shuichi was entranced once again.

"Take a seat, Shindou-san."

Shuichi complied. The seat was soft and cool.

A pause. A swirl of heavy liquor in a thin crystal glass.

"How's your album doing, Shindou-san?" Shuichi gaped at the question. _That's all? That's all he's going to ask? About my album? My _freakin'albumShuichi couldn't stop the wave of disappointment that washed over him. What he was expecting, he himself did not know. But it was not about his stupid album that he vaguely remembers is on hold because of _some_ issues. The young man kept his eyes concentrated on the pink swirl in his hands so as to keep from shooting a pointed glare at the blonde before him.

"It's…okay."

"Really?"

"_Yeah_."

Another pause.

"It seems quite the contrary, though, when I dropped by your studio just now. K-san was filling me in on your…lack of progress." _Oh, just go on and say _lack.

Shuichi pouted and did not look up. _Stupid K._

He brought the cocktail drink up to his lips and tipped the glass back, downing most of the pink stuff in one go. _Sweet._ The anger and pressure flew from his mind temporarily and he looked up to the man before him. "Wow. This is good."

The serious face broke into a grateful smile. "Is it? I thought you would have the same taste as Ryuichi."

"Ryuichi likes this too?" Seguchi gave a small nod.

"Would you like another?" he said, standing up and already moving towards the bar again. Shuichi hesitated.

"I don't give Ryuichi alcohol." He said, reading Shuichi's mind. Shuichi looked up, surprised that Seguchi could tell. "Umm… Okay, then. Sorry to…"

"No trouble at all." Seguchi said graciously, holding the drink out to Shuichi who stared a moment before blushing lightly and taking the drink in two hands. Seguchi held his refilled glass of liquor instead of going back to his seat, began to move pass the white piano and toward the couches. "Come here and talk, Shindou-san."

Shuichi had no choice but to obey silently again. He reached the sofa and Seguchi motioned for him to sit on the long couch whereas he took a comfortably on the lush single velvet seat with over-sized cushions.

The small area, although just a few steps away from the president's desk, felt like a totally different room. It was much more… warm, and welcoming. The beige leather seats were not the type that stuck to your skin and yet not so polished that you could just slide down them. The one that Shuichi sat in, facing away from the big office desk and the pretty white piano, was adjacent to the one on the left which was pushed up against the wall, right next to the door. The velvet seat was the most warm-looking one. It was obvious that no one but Seguchi got to sit in that dark maroon seat; like a king and his throne.

A coffee table sat in the middle and framed posters of different bands under NG hung on the far wall. But one of the framed photographs stood out as it was in fact, not a poster or anything of that kind. Shuichi recognized it as one of Ryuichi's favourite drawings. The one with Seguchi, Noriko and Ryuichi himself, apparently on stage and drawn with child-like strokes and details of bright lights and happy faces. Shuichi couldn't help but smile fondly at the memory of Ryuichi showing off the drawing to him. The older singer had proudly boasted that he had drawn and coloured it all by himself with the new crayons that Noriko had bought for him while they were out shopping the day before. Shuichi had this feeling that not many people got to seat in this part of the room.

Shuichi wondered why he was invited to seat here. Well, that reason was made pretty obvious just a few days before. But why? Why him? Was Seguchi looking for comfort in a rebound? That idea was dismissed almost immediately, though it stayed in the recesses of his mind. Seguchi wasn't that sort of person. And even if he was on rebound, he would rather go for Yuki, wouldn't he?

They both sat there for a while, each lost in his own thoughts as they sipped their own beverages quietly.

"How is Eiri?"

Shuichi almost spilled his drink. He turned to stare at Seguchi again, thinking this time, '_Is he crazy!'_

"Umm… Fine," Shuichi mumbled, not totally sure if Seguchi heard his answer.

Another pause and Shuichi started to fidget. God, he could almost feel those eyes burning into him. He heard a rustle of cloth and didn't look up. He was forced to, however, when his half-drunk drink was gently tugged out of his tensed grasp and set on the low pine coffee table that was positioned in the middle of the small area along with Seguchi's own glass with brown liquid.

The seat beside him dipped slightly and Shuichi suddenly registered that Seguchi had just moved and taken the seat beside him. He jerked and was to move away but a hand on his knee halted his attempt to escape. His purple eyes looked from the pale hand and travelled up to its owner eyes which met his them straight on.

"Shuichi…" the soft and slightly hoarse voice called out to him. The boy did not move as another hand came up to push a stray lock of his unruly black hair off his face. He still did not move as one of the fingers ran a light trail down from his eyes to his lips. He did not move as the hand on his knee glided across his skin and off onto the leather beside his hip. Neither did he move when his name was spoken again, softer this time…gentler, calling him, reaching out to him…so close...he could feel the warm breath on his face and lips.

He ceased to breathe when the other's lips met his in a gentle kiss and then pulled back again before rejoining the touch, deeper this time.

He did not move. He didn't think he wanted to.

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A/N: I feel something's missing. I don't know what. And it's killing me. I made the damn story so much more complicated when I put Yuki into it in the first chapter. I meant for a TxS fic. Not a TxSxY fic. And me, being the impulsive writer, had to go ahead and write the easiest and first start off that popped into my head. So if you find that there is a lack of Yuki in my chapters, please, please, please tell me. And just might and well tell me how to write the whole thing. Damn. 


	4. Yuki: Cold and Heartless Like a Bastard

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Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any of its characters.**

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How did this happen? It was not supposed to be like this. He… How could he? And I thought he loved _me._ I didn't know how wrong I was until the day he came into my home – _Shuichi and mine_ – and tried to claim all the rights for taking my lover away from me. Shuichi is mine. _Mine. _And no one is going to take him away from me.

Not anyone.

Not him.

Seguchi Tohma.

I thought I hated him enough. But I found out just how much I could really hate a person when he told me he was going to try and get his stupid dirty hands on MY Shuichi.

"MY SHUICHI! YOU HEARD THAT? BLOODY FUCKER! HE'S _MINE_!"

I heaved and my voice echoed throughout my dark and empty apartment.

'_You don't love him,'_

Yes, I do.

'_You can't love him,'_

Yes, I can.

'_So you don't deserve him.'_

And Yes I fucking do.

He came to me in the first place. He gave himself to me. Hell, he practically _threw _himself into my arms. And I gave him the fucking pity he craved and let him. You think I don't deserve him! You think that's not fucking LOVE!

'_Playing with his heart and leading him on does not mean you love him.'_

Fuck you.

'_I love him.'_

No, you don't. You just want him to provoke me, like you always do. You don't love you cold, sneaking bloody bastard of a hypocrite.

'_And he will love me.'_

He already loves _me_.

'_I_ will _get him.'_

Like hell you will.

'_I will not lose.'_

'_Because I can give Shuichi what you can never give.'_

'_And you know it.'_

The ashes of the burnt out cigarette in my hand dropped to the carpet but was not hot enough to catch fire.

'_And you know it.'_

'_Let him go, Eiri.'_

No.

'_You owe him that, at least'_

You bring it onto me now, you bastard. But I won't fall for it. Shuichi's mine. He needs me. And hell I'm not gonna let him go. Not to you. I'll burn in hell before I give him to you.

So what if I'm a cold, sneaking bloody bastard of a hypocrite?

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**It's a little random here, I'm afraid. I was at a loss. Haha...I tried typing 2 chapters at once and the next one, Tohma, will...be more... random. I rambled. That's what I'm good at.**


	5. Tohma: Nothing like Love, Hate and Unset...

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any of its characters.**

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I don't know how it happened, when it happened, or even _what _had happened. But it did. And I was stuck. For the first time in my whole life since Nittle Grasper and my own record label, I was stuck. In hot, sticky mud up to my neck. It was stifling.

At first when the thought came to me, I pushed it aside, dismissing it. I didn't expect it to come back with a vengeance, stronger every time. But it did. And when it finally broke through my rather stubborn skull, I was stunned. The next few days, weeks even, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how I felt.

Was I angry? A little, I guess. At myself mostly, for allowing it to happen and for not being able to foresee it to stop it, if I could have.

Was I happy? Elated at my new discovery? … I'm not sure about this one. But it did feel… nice. (Thank my twenty year education for me to come up with that word.) It was even better than when I earned my first million or when Grasper went to number one with their debut song for seven weeks in a row, the second coming soon after.

Was I surprised? To put it lightly. I was absolutely shocked out of my mind.

I was in love with Shindou Shuichi.

Thinking back on it, I didn't realize I was_ that_ shocked. Guess my mind just went numb. But I remember rather vaguely that the first thought in my mind after staring wide-eyed at the large stain that was quickly making itself permanent on the countless contracts I had yet to sign on my table, due to the coffee I had not so gracefully spat out of my mouth at the 'moment of enlightenment', for more than a few minutes, I am sure, was: "I am?"

And then, "I _am_."

Then, "_Wow._"

And after a little more mindless staring at the brown stain and blurry words, all was fuzzy and hazy with thoughts of the young black-haired singer with a very sultry voice and a … a…ahem…very…sultry…sexy…. …

Right. So I was shocked.

Then after that mind-boggling part, when I had officially and unknowingly pushed back the signing-on of a new singer to our company, was over, I stood up to go outside to tell my secretary to get more copies of those now-brown documents and to get someone to clean up the place.

I poured myself a large cup of the strongest liquor I had (At least I think it was. Too preoccupied with my thoughts to care), sat down own my favourite velvet chair as I registered in a very distant corner of my mind that someone was cleaning up the mess at my desk and thinking he better not touch anything he shouldn't, and thought, "Why him?"

I mean, granted, the boy was good-looking and had a good voice. But if I wanted looks I wanted that I could have gone to Ryuichi. Ryu's style suits me even more. Or Eiri. He couldn't sing but he did have the looks. And I was near-obsessed with him and his well-being as most people viewed it anyways.

'Maybe it's a rebound.' I thought. I had, after all, not long ago just signed the divorce papers with Mika and maybe I had a change in my taste. Shuichi was obviously more of the receiver than the aggressor (Eiri wouldn't have liked that.). But I doubted so. You couldn't have a rebound if you didn't feel sad about it.

Mika-san was a wonderful woman. Too wonderful, in fact. But I couldn't bring myself to love her, and her, me. It was an arranged marriage and that was exactly how it was for the next thirteen years – arranged and unemotional. I am sure it is apparent for after so many years as husband and wife, I still add a formality to her name. The only feeling at the end was relief for both of us. We were lucky to end it this agreed and peaceful way than to have a fiery one. Uesugi-san wasn't so happy though. But he wasn't happy a long time ago when we allowed his only two sons to do as they wish and not carry on the family line. It is actually quite ironic now how, just two years back, I was trying to tear Eiri and Shuichi apart, then approve of their relationship then now try to break them up again. I am damned to be the obstacle between their relationship. And I've just decided recently that I want to be a very good and strong one.

However, I feel regretful I have to betray Eiri's feelings like that. I still blame myself for what happened to him. I shouldn't have brought him there in the first place and now he's such a bitter person. But it's been almost ten years since then. He has gotten over it. I am sure. I have known him for almost all my life and all of his. I know he no longer thinks about what happened that time much. And I know Shuichi was the one to help him do that. I watched him change after Shuichi came into his life. Watched as he remembered. Watch as he relived. And watched as he left it behind as he walked on.

He owes Shuichi too much, but he's not giving it back. And I owe him no more than what I can and have given him.

I talked to Eiri a few days ago and I tried to make him see. Quite a futile attempt, as always. He was always too stubborn for his own good. It runs in the family, trust me. And he never listens to me. Even his sister has to threaten him every time she wants him to do something as simple as go buy groceries. I doubt asking him to give up his lover is any easier.

But even now, as I pull up in front of the two-story modern accommodation where Shuichi and Eiri live, and turn to my current love, I see that messy mop of black hair and lovely face and lovely eyes that were now hooded as they looked down at his lap, and I fall in love all over again.

I thought I loved Mika-san. I thought I had love Ryuichi. I should have loved Eiri. But now I know I love the one and only Shindou Shuichi.

And I know I'm hurting him, by forcing my selfish love upon him, but I have no choice. I cannot lose him. Especially not to Eiri.

"Shuichi," I love his name on my tongue.

He looks up and around, seemingly to realize only now that we had stopped and where we were. A shadow comes over his bright eyes that light up my life. Either because we are home, too soon, or that we are home, and Eiri would see. I hope it is the former. But I won't guess too much because a second later, the shadow was gone, mostly. He looks up at me and seems a little lost at what to say, how to act. He knows he had done something he shouldn't have and he looked like a child not wanting to go into the room to tell his parents what that he had just broken their antique vase and caused a huge domino of toppling and crashing things.

But he has to. And although I caused him to be in this predicament in the first place (I'm part of it) he has to face it himself. I feel almost cruel.

I put my hand on his shoulder and smile at him. To encourage him, I say, but I feel like I'm pleading a little. He just looked at me, and then turned around to open the door and get out of the car. My hand lifts up slightly but didn't withdraw, reluctant to let him return to that house – to that man, and unwilling to lose the warmth of that touch.

And with one final glance backward, Shuichi turns the doorknob and enters the dim insides of the house, closing the door behind him.

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**I actually finished this last week or earlier, but had to edit it. Like I said, I wasn't all that happy with it. Neither am I now, I don't think it brought out the passion I wanted Tohma to have. He just seems...stoned here. I dunno. Shuichi's gonna be hell.**

**Pls review.**

**GD**


	6. AN

Ok. I give up. Who wants to give some ideas? I have no idea how the story should go! Please E-MAIL me any ideas. Ideas only. I just need some inspiration. How you guys want it to end and sorts. So e-mail. Then I'll see what inspires me. So no surprises for anyone else! K? Yeh!

Wow. This feels sooo like an interview. Hope you guys don't mind! But I'd rather have this than giving you guys some random crap just to finish this story right?

So mail.


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